Full Circle??

25 years ago this year, I first set my sight on Salisbury Cathedral, and fell in love with it. I had just attended my second ACCM selection conference (the final conference which recommends you or otherwise, for being suitable for training for ordained ministry) - my first ACCM conference 9 years before saw me being an "otherwise".

After a difficult visit to Lincoln Theological College, where I was offered a place, but didn't warm to it as I had done 9 years before, I was steered in the direction of Salisbury and Wells Theological college, as it was then called, but is no more!

I loved the place, as did Sue. Neither of us had been there before, and some months later the whole family moved to the Cathedral City where we lived for 2 years. 2 of the happiest years of my life.

Values changed - my world of banking - loans, personal loans, investements, big business, individual customers, materialism, greed, profits, changed into a life concerned with God, justice, mercy, affirming people, looking at exciting and new challenges, finding new ways of expressing your faith - especially through worship, along with learning how to use my banking and other skills in a different way.

Ok so those who know me well will know that I have not lost all my former attributes - especially as far as gadgets are concerned, but it has to be said that 2 years in Salisbury opened my life up, and I would say that of Sue, in a way we could never have dreamt of.

Salisbury, for me at 37, a real beginning after almost 20 years working with National Westminster Bank. 20 years I enjoyed, and had I not worked in certain branches, I wouldn't have met Sue let alone marry her, and then our children wouldn't be, neither our grandchildren - all of whom I think the world of.

So much for that for the moment.

I realise that it is two weeks since my last blog. A fair bit has happened, but the main feature has been the continung issues regarding my cancer. I just wish I didn't think about it quite so much, and the more I seem to think about it, the more I seem to feel the aches. I am not sure at this stage which way round it is - am I thinking about it because of the aches, or am I aching because I keep thinking about it?

But it is a main feature of our lives at the moment, but as I have said before, I am determined it is not going to get me down, and that I am going to continue to live life to the fullest I can.

We can't go on the cruise I wanted to go on, because of my next visit to the oncologist - it is a good job I didn't book it, but I am trying to book one a week later.

A week last Saturday Sue and I and Charlotte and Daniel went to my Niece Victoria's wedding to Duncan. It was a lovely day, and so enjoyable. It all took place in a lovely part of Britain near Carnforth. I drove there, and Charlotte drove back. These family get togethers mean so much to me, and are so much fun. Looking forward to my last Niece getting married, Helen, and I promised my son Daniel that I wouldn't mention anything about him, so I won't, although I really do live in hope!! Louise is so lovely, and 3 lovely children!

Had a great day in Dukeries college, last week, sitting in on their RE classes. I even, this time, took centre stage up front, rather than contibuting from th back. Young people are so vibrant and full of life, and really not at all like they are often portrayed. In the evening I went with the head of RE and one of the teachers out for a curry. It was a great time.

One of the downside features of my treatment that has happened in the last 2 weeks, is that I have been a bit off with some people who I don't mean to be horrible with. Let me say now to you, and to those of you (yes there were more than 1) I am very, very sorry, and I do hope you will forgive me, and understand. I don't mean it at all, and I hope you realise that it isn't really what I am like. I have even fallen out with my Bank, but then they are rubbish, and I am going to arrange to transfer my accounts back to NatWest who I left 22 years ago when I came to college.

And that takes me back to where I started, at least as my banking is concerned.

But it is not just in Banking, I write these words from my room in Sarum College, which used to be Salisbury and Wells Theological college. I am on a 3 day retreat, basing my time around mattins/eucharist in the morning, and choral evensong in the evening in Salisbury Cathedral. I loved it 24 years ago, and I love it now. It is like a spiritual pillow on which I can lay my head. The routine and the proceddures haven't changed, and it really is an out of this world experience. The only main difference is that the Precentor is only 31, and would have been 7 when I was at college. Makes me feel very old.

But as much as I love the worship here in the Cathedral, how different it is to worship in ex-mining communities - especially New Ollerton. It also shows me just how much I have changed as a priest over the years.

My time on retreat is going very well indeed. I have come here with my dear friend Martin, who, like Sue, always keeps my feet firmly on the ground. Martin and I met when we were in the same Tutor Group at Salisbury and Wells Theological College. We have remained great freinds ever since - I am Godfather to 2 of his children, and he and I meet up every 6/8 weeks to discus our work and support each other.

So here I am really where it all started, at least as far a my ordained minstry is concerned. And how appropraite it is.

Salisbury once again takes a pivital role in my life.

It is once again a beginning. A beginning for a new and even more exciting period of my minstry, and of my walk with Christ.

I announced last Sunday in Church that is is my intention to retire from stipeniary ministry at the end of September, and as Vicar of Ollerton and Boughton - hopefully to do as much as I can thereafter.

I have thought about this for a couple of years, but dreaded the thought. In reality, being in work has brought me back from a brink, but as I feel now, I don't feel that every day I can give 100%, as much as I want to, and the position of Vicar of Ollerton and Boughton demands at least that, as any job should. I would never thnk of giving anything less, but I now realise that I need to focus a bit more of my health, while still carrying on in minstry, in a different, less stressful way.

So beware!

Especially as I now have a bus pass. Yes, I was told at the hospital that I could apply for one, having had my application turned down when I was 60. Apparantly the rules changed again in January this year, and not only was I entitled to one, I now have one. It came last week, and on Saturday I went into Mansfield on the bus, with my stick, and a brief case (for my shopping, but I didn't want to look like an old man going shopping - only to deposit all the contents of my brief case all over the floor of the bus, when I sat down. People were very kind and came to the rescue of this old man!) Met Sue in Town, and all she could do was laugh!

I like that.

I can take whatever pills I have to, but as long as I can still laugh, and Sue does make me laugh (meant in the right way)! I always get people laughing at weddings and baptisms, because so many people come to church looking so solumn - God enjoys laughing, and so do I.

Blessings and laughter until next time!