The twists and turns of the journey of life

Final reflection on French Trip

 

I am sorry that this final reflection has been delayed, but I have had news which I could have done without. 

I wrote a posting for Facebook shortly after receiving news from the oncologist which I had been dreading.  The news followed my recent CT scan the week before and went along the lines that it was now a fact the cancer is progressing, and there is nothing more he can do for me, other than the treat symptoms, and in reality it is now a matter of months rather than years.  He did go on to say that with untreated cancer you don't know what will happen next.

 I got the news on Wednesday, and the irony of it all is, that on the Monday, following my blood tests, they wanted to admit me into King's Mill because my Calcium levels were high - dangerous for those living with cancer.

 So Tuesday Morning I was admitted into Hospital, to Emergency Assessment Unit, where I stayed for 3 days, and where they managed to reduce the calcium.  It caused me great pain, which is only just subsiding.

 What you don't know is that I had been admitted the week before, following my foot clinic.  What they were concerned about that time, was my swollen leg - fearing a DVT - but scans and tests proved there was no DVT.

 

It was during the second stay this week that I got the news I referred to earlier.

 Please don't treat me any differently, I still have life to live.  OK so thats enough of the sadnesses and doom and gloom enough of all that just for now, back to my final reflections on the France and Belgium trip.

 

So after 17 trips, 14 with people from our respective and former parishes, and many different people over the years at that, what is there for me to reflect on this time.

 

These trips are very emotional, as those of you who have ever been with us, or indeed visited on your own.

Every trip I have found something powerful to take home with me, from that very first time when I felt God saying something to me, which turned out to be part of a continued call to ordained ministry, but that time telling me the time was right.

 
A real call because the 23 years in stipendry ministry have proved to me to be right, as it has to others to who it has been my privilege to serve.

Different people I have met and stayed with - the Rector of St George's Chapel  in Ypres, who put Martin and I up for a night, Diane and Vic, who have become such great friends over the years, Christine, who owned the other BB we usually use as well, which was a former Railway Station, the various hotels I have stayed in in Arras, Albert, Cambrai, Lille, Ypres, and many more places - all my dear and close friends who have  accompenied me on these journeys.

 And all which is yet to come, because my journeys here have not come to an end - I intend to come for as long as I can, and although I have been in considerable pain at times, the end of these trips is not yet in sight.

But what I have learned this trip, and you will have heard me talk of this before without possibly learning for myself the true value of it, is to slow down, and have time to reflect on the things you have done, even if they have not been as many or as tightly timetabled.

It has been good sitting in the car while the others have gone round museums, thinking about, reflecting upon, and trying to make sense of what I have seen and appreciated.

 
I have had much more time to put pen to paper, or rather finger to iPhone to get these thoughts down.

I have also been able to observe how people cope with a sometimes grumpy, fully morphined and medicated not yet very old man like me.

And again some surprises have been forthcoming.

I have mentioned already in an earlier posting about how my pain and aching is really nothing compared to that of some of the men who were wounded in the trenches, and treated and cared for, in quite primitive conditions by today's standards, hundreds of miles away from loved ones and from home.

Even in my present situation, I mustn't forget my many blessings - blessings which can so easily be forgotten in today's busy and chaotic world.